What You Can Do When Mom and Dad Are Resisting In-Home Care

Oct 24, 2019
JF Berube

There may come a point in your life when you and your parents need to make difficult decisions regarding their living situation.  While you may feel as though they are in need of extra care and assistance, Mom and Dad may disagree.

Many adult children encounter roadblocks when it comes to suggesting in-home care.  Introducing a change in their routine can be stressful for everyone, and as their child, you are often their first choice to lend a hand.  But what if they need more than you are able to provide?  If your parent or loved one is resistant to the idea of in-home care, here are some thoughts on an inclusive approach to the issue.

Validate Your Parents’ Concerns

It’s important for you to understand the concerns that your Mom and Dad may have regarding accepting home care assistance. Understanding exactly what is bothering your parents about the idea of home care will help you and home care assistants to design a custom-made plan that eases their worries and gives them the support they need to keep them in their home. Ventilate and validate!  Let them talk.  And, be sure to listen.  Their concerns are legitimate.

Make Them Part of the Process

Not every parent is disapproving of allowing home care professionals to offer scheduled, in-home assistance, but resistance often centers around a loss of control.  Will someone take over the tasks I can do?  Will I have a say about timing and duration?  What about my privacy?  Encourage your elderly mother or father to sit in on interviews with in-home care providers. Have them make a list of questions and concerns.  This interaction gives them a share of control and enables them to see all of the benefits that added home care can provide them.

Monitor Your Parents’ Progress


It’s important to document your parents’ challenges when you begin to see they’re experiencing difficulties in their home.  Where are the problems?  Housework, the yard, memory issues, safety?  If they or you have started to add improvements to make their home safer and easier (railings or grab bars, ramps, removing obstacles, etc.) for them to maneuver throughout their living space, track how easily they are adapting to the new changes. Keep a diary or a log of how they are progressing.  If their symptoms worsen to the point where they are struggling to care for themselves, you’ll have a history to help you speak to them and to home care experts.

Home care services are designed to assist families to find immediate and exceptional help for their elderly loved ones. If your mother or father is in need of home care services, contact Assurance Home Care in Ottawa, ON, for more information!